Sunday, June 19, 2011

Jared's Doubles Tourney Predictions 2011


Rd.1: Ryan and Jerome vs. Jacob and Caroline
Ryan and Jerome, though a little rusty around the edges, give up an early goal, but finish strong for a 10-1 win. Jacob and Caroline are doomed from a lack of commitment.

Rd.1: Jennabee and Erich vs. Miriam and Rachel
In past games, both Erich and Jennabee have proven that they can take on and beat both Miriam and Rachel, so expect a one-sided shootout, setting a new record for spinning penalties, which Jennabee and Erich need to correct if they want to have any success in this tournament. Jennabee and Erich prevail, 10-3.

Rd.2: Ryan and Jerome vs. Jennabee and Erich
This is where the Wackers' doubles games come in handy. While a rarity outside of East 30, doubles games are a longstanding Wacker tradition. Ryan and Jerome, who have played one game together, fall apart at the hands of Jennabee's defense, and Erich's midfielders and forwards. Jennabee and Erich pull off the upset, 10-7.


Rd.1: Jared and Seth vs. Sarah and Asha
The much-hyped Dixon brother tandem dominates this game, sending Sarah and Asha home early. This game is good practice, but the real challenge awaits Seth and Jared in the second round. Seth and Jared win, 10-0.

Rd.1: Kahlin and Henry-Jon vs. Zach and Alex
With Kahlin on offense and Henry-Jon on D, this matchup makes for the closest game in round one. Zach's razzle-dazzle offense gives Henry-Jon a headache, but HJ is a goalie-shot specialist, and scores four. The Kahlin-Alex battle decides the game. Kahlin's experience jumps the Wacker brothers out to an early lead, but Alex becomes better at clearing the ball to Zach's strikers late in the game. The Mumfchine proves too much for Henry-Jon's defense, 10-9.

Rd.2: Jared and Seth vs. Zach and Alex
This game is an emotional rollercoaster for both sides. Jared controls the offensive side of things, simply pounding the ball in 5,000,000 times too many. Zach keeps things close, down to a 9-8 Dixon lead, but Jared, who has never won a close game, has a nervous breakdown, commits two turnovers that seal the deal. With four quick strokes, it is all over, and the Mumfchine will forge onward, 10-9.

Championship Game: Jennabee and Erich vs. Zach and Alex
This game will be a battle of two offense-oriented duos, but Jennabee provides a solid defense as well. Jennabee has two goalie-shots, as well as multiple assists. Zach has most of his shot attempts blocked, and Jennabee sneaks a superfoos past Alex while Zach is loudly chewing him out. The Wackers' lead is strengthened, and a new no-spin Erich slams in the last goal as the Mumfchine implodes. The final score: 10-6. The Jennabee and Erich both win their first CCFA tournament. Zach goes public with a rant declaring the entire CCFA as "rigged", and challenges Erich and Jennabee separately, winning both games and crowning himself champion of the universe. Alex professes that he didn't really care about the tournament anyway, and that he could have won if he'd wanted to. Zach, fists flailing, is pushed away from Alex with a riot shield-wielding Seth.

Doubles Seeding 2011

Thanks, everybody for submitting your doubles partner. From the RATINGS and not because I like or don't like anyone in particular, I now have the seedings for the tournament:
  1. Jared and Seth
  2. Ryan and Jerome
  3. Jennabee and Erich
  4. Kahlin and Henry-Jon
  5. Alex and Zach
  6. Miriam and Rachel
  7. Jacob and Caroline
  8. Sarah and Asha

Rankings Week 5

1. Jared
2. Ryan
3. Erich
4. Kahlin
5. Seth
5. Jerome
7. Miriam
7. Jennabee
9. Alex
10. Rachel
11. Henry-Jon
12. Caroline
13. Jacob
14. Asha

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Doubles Teams

Jared with Seth
Ryan with Jerome
Zach with Alex
Rachel with Miriam
Sarah with Asha

CarolineJacobKahlinJennabeeErichHenryJon!!!! Whatareyouwaitingfor?

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Monday, June 13, 2011

Rankings Week 4

Erich leaped up to the top of the rankings midweek, but was apprehended by Jared on Saturday, 10-5. He fell to third place, but could shape up to be a league power.
1. Jared
2. Ryan
3. Erich
4. Kahlin
5. Seth
5. Jerome
7. Miriam
8. Jennabee
9. Alex
10. Rachel
11. Henry-Jon
12. Caroline
13. Jacob
14. Asha


Saturday, June 11, 2011


Jerome flourished at East 30's first tournament, including a semifinal game against Ryan where he hung around until he won by forfeit. Jerome, as a number four seed, is the lowest seed ever to win a tournament.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

A Vicious Backhand to All Oppressors

Just days after a defeat at the hands of his own brother, Jared faced Seth once more. Seth leaped out of the starting gates with a hot hand. He laid down some of the smoothest pole transitions in the league. He jumped out to a quick 5-1 lead, on track to humiliate the defending Dixon and CCFA champion once more, this time in a decisive blowout. Jared then pulled off one of the most stunning comebacks in CCFA history. Riding on a tidal wave of pent up emotion, Jared crushed a goalie shot for two points, and never looked back. Seth's calm one-touch turned into a frenzy of fruitless swipes and misfires. Jared surged on a 9-0 run, and finished off one of his greatest rivals in one of the biggest comebacks ever, 10-5.

FOOSNAZI VANQUISHED

Writer's Note: here's the soundtrack for this article (copy and paste to a new window): http://www.playlist.com/searchbeta/tracks#the%20secret%20of%20my%20success%20night%20ranger/all/1

MOSCOW, ID: In a stunning turn of events, Mr. Jared Dixon has been inexplicably and unceremoniously dumped from his raised spot as the only Undefeated in the league. Our Hero? Seth Dixon! In a thrilling game rife with beautiful spot-ups and assists, Seth rose up from the depths of obscurity to strike down the villain and all he stands for, to the rousing ovation of everyone in the league! Everyone, that is, besides the villain himself, a veritable Lebron James among Kevin Durant's. Post-game, Jared was unavailable for comment, but there can be no doubt of what must have been running through his mind. How could he have climbed so high, only to be knocked down again once more? As they say here in the writing world, the higher they fly, the harder they fall! A glimmer of hope for all those who are oppressed by those more fortunate than they, this game is one for the history books. You underdogs will write the next chapters. Good luck facing those foosnazis in your own lives.

Seth Dixon 10
Jared Dixon 9

Sunday, June 5, 2011

New Executive Committee System

Because of the negative publicity that came from being the one and only commissioner in the CCFA, I, with my last change as the commissioner, changed the CCFA to a republic by installing an executive committee. The members are all people who would have the time and be interested enough in the CCFA to put the time and effort in that is required. There is one representative from each family, usually the oldest participating cousin. Each has a different number of votes according to how many participating cousins are in their family:
  • Jared-5 votes
  • Kahlin-4 votes
  • Ryan-3 votes
  • Alex-3 votes
  • Isaac-2 votes
  • Jerome-2 votes
I know that I'm going to get some negative feedback from Zach, if he has the time to comment.

Rankings Week 3

1 Jared
2 Ryan
3 Kahlin
4 Miriam
5 Alex
6 Seth
7 Rachel
7 Jennabee
9 Henry-Jon
10 Jacob
10 Caroline
12 Asha

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Rankings Week 2

In this week's biggest move, Jared reclaimed his #1 ranking by dropping Ryan 10-5, and defeating Wacker classic Runner-Up Jennabee, 10-3

1. Jared
2. Ryan
2. Miriam
4. Kahlin
5. Alex
6. Seth
7. Rachel
8. Jennabee
9. Henry-Jon
10. Jacob
11. Caroline
12. Asha

Wacker Classic 2011